Zelda on the X-Box!

I hate that fucking paperclip so much.

My thermos tried to kill me.

Well, not my thermos, but Anne's thermos. And to be even more clear, it's not a Thermos™. It's just a thermos.

Anyway, this morning, Anne made some coffee and offered me her old tea thermos (which she doesn't use anymore because she thought it got too gross on the inside, but is apparently good enough for me) to take some with me to work. I'm having staying awake issues, so some coffee sounded great. I pop it into my bag and I'm off on my commute.

So half an hour later or so, I get to my office, take off my coat, turn on my computer. You know, the usual office morning stuff. I pull out the thermos, pop it open and take a drink and it BURNS MY MOUTH! What the hell? That coffee was made over 30 minutes ago. It should be drinkable by now.

Damn thermos. You think you're so great, with your vacuum flask and your silvered interior reflecting radiant heat. Ooooh, I can keep hot things hot and cold things cold, aren't I special. Well, let me tell you something, thermos. If I wanted to burn my mouth, I could have done it at home trying to drink too-hot coffee as I rushed out the door. I didn't need your help for that.

On the other hand, I suppose you were just doing you job. I guess I'll forgive you. Let's kiss and make up.

Dammit! Still too hot!

Jesus Christ Super-Hero

Be forewarned that there is a moderately serious discussion about Jesus as well as some comic book talk contained herein. If either of these things make you uncomfortable, turn back now, lest you be forever scarred by it's contents.

This past weekend, Anne and I went up to her hometown to spend Christmas Eve with her family. Among the activities we went to Church for the Christmas Eve service. Overall, very nice, but the sermon went on far too long. My general feeling about sermons, or any public speaking, really, is that you should leave your audience wanting more, not wanting the Church to catch on fire so that they can escape. That's just a rule of thumb, not written in stone or anything, but I think that it's sound advice.

One of the main problems I saw, was that he was focusing on the part of Jesus' story that I find the least interesting. That is, all of the stuff about how special and perfect Jesus was. Now, don't get me wrong, Jesus is special, absolutely. I just think that other parts of his story are more interesting.

Let's put it in terms of superheroes. I know it sounds geeky, but I think it works. He fights evil, he's got special abilities, he's got a distinctive look. That's the whole package right there. The lack of combat skills and general pacifistic attitude require that he be in a support role on a team like the Avengers or the JLA, but all in all, I think he'd be a valuable member.

So, back to the topic at hand, talking about him as a perfect person, is like making him Superman. I know that, at first blush, it seems like a good comparison. They've both got all those powers. Jesus can walk on water, turn water into wine and absolve all sin, and Superman can fly, turn coal into diamond and melt things with his eyes. Not identical, but similar, nonetheless. Also, Jesus comes from heaven and Superman comes from outer-space. And on top of all that, they're both goodie two shoes.

But when you look closer, I think that Batman is more like Jesus that Superman ever could hope for. I know what you're thinking. In what way is Jesus like a revenge obsessed guy who creeps around in the dark? Well, let me tell you. One of the defining characteristics of Bruce Wayne/Batman has always been that he has no powers. He's just a (relatively) normal guy who, through determination and will, turned himself into a crime fighter on par with an alien who can bounce bullets off of his chest.

And to me, that's the defining characteristic of Jesus, too. Not the crime fighting part, but the human part. And not human like Zeus when he wanted to bang some chick. Human with all of the good and bad that comes with that. A Jesus Christ who got pissed off because someone made fun of his haircut and decided to forgive and love him anyway is way more interesting than a Jesus who never gets pissed off at all.

Yes, okay, he could do the whole water to wine thing and the other tricks, but the thing that really made him different wasn't the powers, but the ideas. I mean, my understanding is that it was pretty fucking revolutionary to think about things the way he did. "Heaven is for everybody? WTF, Jesus? We thought you were going to smite someone."

It is far more interesting to me to think about a Jesus that is as fundamentally flawed as every other human being on the planet, but overcame those flaws, than one that was born perfect. If he's a perfect being, as alien to mankind as Superman was, then there's a barrier between what he can achieve and what we can. But if Jesus is a flawed human, like Batman, that means that everybody can aspire to being like him.

And that is why, to me, Jesus will always be Batman. And also why Batman kicks Superman's ass.

Leader of the Pack

Now, this is what a Dark Lord of Sith rides. Not that pussy hover-bike that Darth Maul floated around on.


If Vader had ridden one of these in A New Hope, I have no doubt that things would have turned out very differently. No way does the Milleneum Falcon get the drop on the Imperial Chopper.