Geek Attack!

The Day After Tomorrow... Today!

2007-01-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

Oh my god. It is so cold.

I had to wear a suit today because I had an interview and this stupid thing doesn't keep the cold air out AT ALL. I have serious doubts about my ability to make it home. I'm fairly certain that I'm going to freeze to death outside the Scottish Rite Center. Hopefully, I'll be thawed out in the future where I can become a pivotal figure in the fight for humanity's survival against the space dinosaurs.

Seriously, though. It's cold. I think one of my toes might fall off.

My toes if I'm lucky!

Cup o' Mourning

2007-01-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

A moment of silence, please, for Momofuku Ando, the inventor of instant ramen noodles. He died this past Saturday at the age of 96.

Mr. Ando, you have provided me sustinance in my time of need. May you be re-hydrated in heaven.

I've got the fever...

2006-12-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

And the only cure is more board games!

Called in sick yesterday. Nothing was really happening anyway. Spent the majority of the day (about 10 hours) playing board games with my buddy Will. It was fantastic. Haven't had a marathon boardgaming session like that in a long time. We both got to play stuff that's been languishing in the closet for some time as well as some new stuff.

Gheos: I've played this several times, but it was a first for Will. I'm really enjoying this one. Very simple and very fast, but good theming and some fun mechanics. And some pretty direct conflict. Nothing feels better than wiping a civilization off the board that your opponent had 4 followers in and you had none. Good mix of luck and strategy. I don't think that the 2 player game is ideal, but it works. 3 or 4 would be preferred. Will won this one, with a strong play in the endgame.

Clout: Goofy game where you toss poker chips (with bases, actions, troops and relics printed on them) onto a surface to fight a battle. Dexterity plays a big a role as anything. We both agreed that it would have been more fun if it hadn't been a collectible game and the rules weren't so convoluted with 25 different special abilities. Still, totally worth the $2 I spent at the game auction to get it. I took this one with some lucky throws.

Mr. Jack: A very nice 2 player in which one player is Jack the Ripper and the other is trying to catch him. Even though it seems like a deduction game, as you eliminate suspects and make an accusation, it's much more heavily focused on the tactical movements on the board. I was impressed with the components in this one, since it looked kind of cheap from the images that I'd seen. It's actually very nicely produced. We played two games, each taking a turn on each side. I won both games. Keeping in the light is much easier, even though it means that Jack can't escape.

Factory Fun: Essentially a multiplayer puzzle game in the vein of Ricochet Robot. I had a lot of fun with this one. Trying to somehow cram all of the different machines, pipes and outputs onto the factory floor is quite engaging. Played this one 3 times. 2-1 in my favor.

Blue Moon City: Rebuilding the city in the aftermath of the events of the Blue Moon card game. Basically, you move from building site to building site, playing cards to construct the building. When the building is completed everybody involved gets rewarded, with the person who did the most getting a bonus. Then the winner is determined by the same mechanic on a central building. Played well. Like some of the other games we played, it will probably work better with 3 or 4. Will won this one handily.

Doom: A boardgame based on the once popular video game. While it is a giant mess with all kinds of tiles, counters, plastic figures, reference sheets and wacky dice, it actually works pretty well. We both agreed that it felt more like a dungeon crawl than a video game, but still enjoyable. I guess Descent is based on this same system. That would be interesting to see. Will's marine was able to essentially race through the map (having drawn some great movement abilities at the outset) to get the BFG, and then cleared the way to the exit with that.

Also, we squeezed a couple vs. games of a Nintendo DS game, Elite Beat Agents, in there somewhere. That was a lot of fun even though I got my ass kicked. We took a look at Shear Panic, but the 2 player variant rules were just too complicated.

So that was the day of boardgames. It was a lot of fun. Wish we could do it more often.

New Years resolutions

2006-12-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

1. Be more awesome.
2. Kick more ass.

Don't vote.

2006-11-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

That's right. Stay home. Don't go to the polls. Don't participate in our democracy. I don't want you to.

Quite frankly, if you can't motivate your own damn self to vote, I have no interest in trying to encourage you to do so, and I don't know why anybody else does, either. There's that guy who's giving away 1 million dollars to a random voter. So, essentially a bribe to vote. What possible purpose could this serve? There's no reason to get people to vote if their vote is uninformed (which you have to assume it is. If they don't care enough to vote, the chances are good that they don't care enough to educate themselves about the issues).

An informed vote is invaluable. An uninformed vote is worthless. It's less than worthless. It's simply a bunch of noise that threatens to wash out the votes that matter.

So stay home.

My Near Death Experience

2006-08-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

My wife does a swim workout with a Masters Class in Oakland. She goes 5 or 6 times a week. Last night, she took me with her.

I almost died.

I think I did something like 1/3 of the workout before my entire life flashed before my eyes and I saw this bright light. I was going to head into the light when I realized that I was just too fucking tired to do anything but just lie there, a broken man.

Still, even though I didn't shuffle off this mortal coil, I think that a part of me did die that night. I think it was that part that liked swimming.

Free Books For Everybody!

2006-08-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

Sorta.

As part of the great bookshelf cleansing of aught-six, I have a large number of books that need to move to better homes. I have decided that, instead of giving them to goodwill or trying to sell them, that I will set them free as a member of Book Crossing.

Basically what this involves is registering each book with the website and receiving a Book Crossing ID number. I print out a label and write that number on it and put it on the book. Then I just drop it off somewhere like on Bart or at a Starbucks or something and hopefully, somebody else will pick it up and read it. They can register it with the site, to keep track of where it's been. Then, once they're done reading it, or if they decide that they don't like it, hopefully, they will also release it somewhere to be found by someone else.

Of course, wild releases aren't the only way to pass a book along. So I'm offering to you, the ten people who read this, the opportunity to pick whatever book(s) that I've registered that you might like to read. The list is here: Bob's Bookshelf. As it says, anything in the "Available" category is up for grabs for anybody. Anything in the "Permanent Collection" category is available for loan, if I have some sort of relationship with the requester.

It's mostly science fiction paperbacks with some comics and mystery/thriller novels thrown in for good measure.

Just send me an e-mail at r_a_chang@hotmail.com with the book you would like to receive and an address that I can mail it to. All I ask is that if I send you a book, that you register it and pass it on when you are done.

Books rule!

My wife kicked my ass...

2006-07-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

...at gift giving.

For our 5 year anniversary (yay us!) Anne got me a brand, spanking new 30 gig video iPod. I got her a refurbished 20 gig click wheel iPod. And not even a color one.

This goes far beyond just normal gift disparity. Sure, there are times when you do a gift exchange and one gift may seem like a better gift than another. But that's just perception. Apples and oranges, so to speak. But here we have a gift that is inherently superior to the other. It's apples and apples. And one of those apples is shinier and tastier than the other one.

And, to add insult to injury, my gift to her didn't even work.

"Here, darling, I got you the crappier version of your gift to me and then I kicked it around a bit and poured diet coke on it for good measure."

I had to take it back to the Apple store and wait for 2 1/2 hours to exchange it. That's karma at work, right there.

Still, all in all, it was a nice anniversary. Drove up to Napa for the day, had a nice lunch and some fun window shopping. Could have been worse. She could have gotten me the 60 gig one (thereby increasing the gift disparity, for those of you who don't get it).

A box fell on my face today.

2006-07-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

It hurt.

It's a trap!

2006-06-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

My lovely wife has brought it to my attention that I am boring and that nobody wants to read about my life. Especially her. Although she did appreciate being prominently featured. So, this marks the end of the week in review.

This rant is for you, kiddo.

*****

My wife (that's you, Anne!) and I have had some difficulty in the past selecting places to eat out. The way this typically plays out is that Anne tells me that she wants to go out. That's fine. But then she asks me to pick the place because she claims that doesn't care where we go.

Now, when I say "I don't care" what I'm saying is that I don't care. When Anne says "I don't care," what she's saying is, "I care, but you have to guess what I want." So I get to start listing off restaurants and Anne gets to shoot them down.

"How about that Mexican restaurant?"
"No, I don't want Mexican."
"What about that place we went a couple weeks ago?"
"No, I don't feel like going there, either."
"Well, where do you want to go, then?"
"I don't care." <-----(blatant lie)

But, you know, I've gotten used to this routine. It's comfortable, really. Sure, she may be speaking in code, but I know the code, so it's okay. But today, it escalated to previously unrealized levels.

We had both agreed that we would go out to dinner tonight, primarily because we don't have a lot of food in the house (normal for the end of the work week). So we're talking on the phone, and she lists three options for me: Ethiopian (Asmara, probably), a new Chinese place or Fat Lady. So, I'm thinking, this is easy, right? I just have to pick one of these pre-approved options and I'm good to go. Of course, that's not the way this story ends. That would be too easy.

I picked Fat Lady and suddenly, Anne has second thoughts about it, saying that it might be too noisy and crowded on a Friday night. It was devious. I had been lulled into a false sense of security with the multiple choice selection and was totally unprepared for the rejection. I applaud the master on a game well played.

And I still don't know where we're eating.

The Week in Review (6/19/06-6/26/06)

2006-06-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

Food

Friends: On Friday night, Brian, Tammy, Mark, Katie, Anne and I went over to Will and Dennis' place for dinner. It was sort of a late birthday celebration (for Mark, Katie and me). They made a very nice pork tenderloin with a balsamicy type marinade/sauce and some roasted veggies. For dessert, we had a strawberry buckle. We had the etymology of the name explained to us, but now I forget what it was. I'm sure it was fascinating, though.

Saturday night, we had Mark and Katie over for dinner and Anne made a tri-tip with a spicy marinade/rub that we served with tomatoes, pita, spinach and a greek potato salad. Brian and Tammy joined us for dessert, which was an apricot crumble.

Finally, on Sunday night, Anne and I went to Mark and Katie's place for dinner and games. We had chicken breasts stuffed with goat cheese and various goodies, roasted veggies and some edamame for snacks. After games, we had some macerated strawberries and ice cream for dessert.

Everybody's food and homes were very nice (including ours, if I do say so myself). It's good to have friends.

Pacific Coast Brewing Company: Will and I grabbed a bite here during our lunch break from the Settlers of Catan tournament (see below). Pretty average pub food. I had a BLT with slightly burned B and unripe T. The L was fine. While we were there, Argentina scored a goal in the world cup and people started screaming. Very unpleasant. At first I just thought that everybody was really excited that I had managed to fold my napkin into the shape of a horseshoe crab, but sadly that was not the case.

Asian Pearl: On Sunday, we went out to dim sum for my mom's birthday. This place was next to the Ranch 99 market in El Cerrito. It was actually pretty nice. The food was fresh and hot and it moved around regularly. The space was clean and not too noisy. Even Anne, who is not a dim sum fan, endorsed the restaurant. I think we will likely return.

Board Games

Shadows Over Camelot: After the aforementioned dinner at Will and Dennis', we played a 7 player game of Shadows. Tammy decided to sit out, even though will has the extra super special eighth knight who defies the proclamation on the box of 3-7 players. Anyway, we dealt out the traitor cards and for the first time, actually had a traitor in the game. We had gotten into a situation where we needed to win by a large margin because we hadn't identified the traitor and the two black sword swing could have hurt us. But we had a good plan to win the 3 sword grail quest last, which would have guaranteed a victory for the good guys. I had narrowed my suspicions as to the traitor down to Mark, Anne and Dennis when Mark suddenly decided to call me out. This clued everyone into his despicable nature and when Will, in turn, accused him of the being the traitor, victory was ours. So yay for everyone. Except for Mark.

Settlers of Catan World Championship (Northern California Regional Qualifier): Will and I thought it would be fun to play in this tournament, which was being held at our local game shop, Endgame. If you haven't been and you live in the area, you absolutely should drop by because it is an excellent store. Anyway, we entered, along with about 18 or so others. Klaus Teuber's kids were there to help officiate the event.

It was, for the most part, fun, though I had a couple frustrating moments. At one table, it appeared that two players were favoring each other because they were friends, screwing me and the other fellow at the table. And my final table, an inexperienced player kept hitting me with the robber when I hadn't even built anything yet. In the first 3 or 4 rounds, I got hit with the robber 7 or 8 times. His justification was that, even though the other guy was doing much better, he didn't want to place the robber on a space that wasn't a 6 or an 8. I'm afraid that I did tell him to "Fuck off." That was probably not called for, but what can I say. It was upsetting.

Anyway, I ended up with two seconds and a third, which wasn't enough to get me to the final table. Will, who had some frustrating experiences of his own, nevertheless won all of his games and made it to the final table. Of course, there he, too encountered the collaborators, who were joined by a third and he went down to their unethical play. What can you do. He can't really complain though, because he made out like a bandit. He got the signed Catan mug, the signed river expansion, the custom wood box for the Settlers of Catan Card Game along with the Card game upgrade expansion. And he doesn't have to go to Indianapolis (the grand prize, playing in the Nationals). All in all, a fun time.

Elchfest: In between games of Settlers, we had some downtime, so Will and I played a game of Elchfest. For those of you unfamiliar with this game, it involves flicking little round wooden pieces (they represent stones or something) to form a bridge for your moose to cross the river. It was actually a lot of fun for a filler game. I won in what was an extraordinarily tight game. If you knock over either moose with your flicking, your opponent gets three free flicks. We were both one step away from victory when I knocked my own moose over trying to set up the winning move. It seemed like all was lost until Will, with his second free flick, knocked down his moose too! That gave me just enough time to take some risks and get my moose across.

Blokus: Another filler game played in between Settlers rounds. This time Will and I were playing with Annie and Joshua, two other tournament entrants. I got beat up pretty badly, as Annie and Joshua both directed their attention towards my little corner and I was unable to break through into any open spaces. Will won this one quite handily.

Travel Blokus (two player Blokus variant): More filler. Will and I squeezed in a couple games of this smaller version of Blokus. It plays similarly, though the dynamics are obviously a little different with two players and a much smaller play area. Going first seems like a pretty big advantage. We both won one game.

Ingenious: Mark, Katie, Anne and I played this one after dinner at their place. We had played it on a prior occasion, but Mark wasn't paying attention for half of that game because he was working on food prep. This time around there was a much more liberal use of the tile discarding rule, though Anne got screwed a couple times because she didn't have a definite low scoring color. I managed to max out every color except for one, but came in last because I wasn't able to move yellows at all. Mark and Anne tied for second at 10 points and Katie was victorious with 13.

Pueblo: After Ingenious, we played a game of Pueblo, the 3D abstract where you try to hide your pieces. Everybody played well, but Anne destroyed the rest of us, at one point not even having anything good to do with her neutral block because all of her pieces were so covered up. In the end, it was closer than it appeared in the late game, but Anne still won handily.

Video/Computer Games

Nothing new on the electronic gaming front. Tetris DS continues to hold my attention. I really want to sell my DS and buy a DS Lite. If you're interested let me know. It works great, but has one dead pixel on the non-touch screen. I'll even toss in a few games. I thought about putting it on eBay, but there's a real glut on the market right now. Everybody wants the Lite.

Comics

Spider-man unmasked! Oooh! So, as a result of Marvel's Civil War storyline (in which Congress passed an act requiring that superheroes register with the government and receive some sort of training and licensing to fight crime), Spider-man, has revealed to the world that he is Peter Parker, photographer, scientist and school teacher. I'm not, in all seriousness, certain what it is he does for a living any more. Anyway, all of fandom is up in arms about it crying about how this ruins the character, blah, blah, blah. I think it's a nice progression. Maybe they'll finally let him grow up a little bit.

Oh and the Ultimates continue to kick ass. Albeit, on a very tardy schedule.

Books

The Historian: Mark and Katie gave me this for my birthday. I don't know much about it, other than that it involves vampires and correspondence. Sounds good to me. I'm assured that I will enjoy it, so I'm looking forward to getting into it.

Movies

Indiana Jones : Will and Dennis gave me the Indy box set for my birthday. What fun! I watched parts of The Last Crusade and some bits from the bonus material disc. I actually swapped out the Last Crusade case with a PS2 game case because the little nubbin that holds the disc in was busted. Stella Deus can roll around in the case. The Last Crusade must be protected.

Other

The Apple Store: On Monday, I walked down to the Apple store on my lunch break because Anne had been having some trouble with her iPod. It seemed like a problem that might not be fixable, from what I had read, but I figured that it doesn't hurt to give it a shot. Anyway, I walk all the way down there (about 15-20 minutes) and I find out that they're all full at the help desk and that I have to make an appointment to talk to someone. So I use their "Genius Bar" thingy and end up making an appointment for after work. So I walk back to the office and don't even have time for lunch. After work, I march back over to the Apple store and talk to some guy who is oddly compelled to use the phrase "give up the ghost," which he uses in reference to the iPod at least 4 times. Maybe as many as 6. Regardless, there's nothing that can be done for it, so now we have to figure out if we want to buy a replacement or what. It's quite a dilemma. The new video iPods are really more than she needs, but the Nanos just don't have enough storage space. She doesn't want to buy a used one, for fear that it will just crap out on her and it doesn't make sense to get a non-iPod since we're invested in iTunes. I guess, as problems go, this isn't the worst one to have, but what can I say? It still sucks.

*****

So, that was the week. Despite the down note of the Apple store visit, a good week overall. Lots of food, friends and games. You can't ask for more than that.

The Week in Review (6/12/06-6/18/06)

2006-06-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

Trying out something new here:

Board Games

Went over to Mark and Katie's for dinner and games on Saturday

Shadows over Camelot: Mark, Katie, Anne and I lost our first game. Depressing. We played with the traitor rules, but everyone was loyal. And we still lost. Damn Morgan with her extra black sword bullshit. Bitch.

Blokus: Played two games of this pretty abstract. Katie won the first game, despite her protestations that she would "lose horribly" at the onset. I took the second game by playing all of my pieces with the one square last. Pretty statisfying.

Settlers of Catan: Easily the funniest game of Settlers in a while. Mark set up his settlements on both of the 8s, but throughout the entire game, an 8 was only rolled once. And that was very late in the game. And the robber was sitting on one of the 8s at the time. A difficult game for Mr. Gudiksen. That's what you get for doubling up. I won, though Katie was deceptively close, holding 3 victory point cards.

Video/Computer Games

Now that I've finished up with God of War, I haven't yet embarked on a new video game undertaking. Mostly, I've just been playing Tetris on my DS during my commute. Aside from the classic falling block mode, there's a neat puzzle like mode where you push the blocks left and right and try to collapse an entire tower of blocks. It's more fun than it sounds, I swear.

Food

Mezze: Went to Mezze on Friday night. Made the reservation through Open Table, but had to change it a few times due to scheduling difficulties. When we got there, they still hadn't changed it to the last confirmed time, but it wasn't an issue because it looked like the restaurant was half empty anyway. I got the yellowfin tuna starter with the Kobe beef burger which was very nice and Anne had the Lola Rosa salad and the roast chicken. The waitress forgot my desert (caramel gelato) so I just shared Anne's chocolate croissant bread pudding. Which was just as well, since I was pretty full and that bread pudding is like eating a block of butter, so it can be tough for just one person.

Lakeshore Cafe: Anne was hungry after having her blood taken on Saturday morning, so we went out for brunch at the Lakeshore Cafe. I had the Tequila sausage scramble and Anne had the Eggs Blackstone. I could have done with a little less avocado and a little more sausage, but it was good, overall. It was a really nice day, so we walked to the Farmer's market afterwards and Anne bought some cherries. I almost got some strawberries, but just couldn't commit.

Mark & Katie's: As was previously mentioned, we joined Mark and Katie for dinner on Saturday and Mark ordered "Indian Pizza." Which is basically Indian food on a pizza. Obvious, but I did have to ask. Anne was cautious , but she did end up enjoying it. Also, Mark made a spicy edamame dip that was pretty tasty. It had the advantage of not having any avocados in it, which Anne appreciated.

East Buffet: Father's day brunch. As is traditional with Chang family gatherings, we assembled at the crappy Chinese Buffet. The sushi's not bad, but it's just not going to make it into my top 10 favorite restaurants any time soon. You gotta love a place that has Dragon and Phoenix rolls next to pizza and onion rings, though. Dave couldn't make it, but he did call me on my cell phone to wish Dad a happy Father's Day.

Books

Finished up A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. Not his most original effort, as variations on the Death as a person motif have been done to, well, death. But still, he had his own wacky spin and the first couple chapters were extremely sad. I might have teared up a little, but since I'm not a girl, I just got something in my eye. Overall, I recommend it.

Next on my pleasure reading list is Black Powder War, which is the third in an alternate history series about dragons in the Napoleonic era. Enjoyable, though I think the novelty has work off a bit. This series followed the odd course of releasing each book within a month of each other. It worked on me, since I got all of them. If they had been spaced out by years like many other books, I probably would have forgotten about them.

Comics

Not much going on with comics right now. I've decided not to read 52 (DC's weekly comic) and no new trades have come out in a while. There should be some good stuff in the coming weeks, however.

Movies

When Anne decided to go into The Juniper Tree, the location that we fondly refer to as "The Smelly Stuff Store," I decided to go across the street to Blockbuster. Partially to use up a gift card that's been taking up space in my wallet for over 2 years, but primarily to get away from the smells that jump up my nose and drive ice picks into my brain. I ended up buying The 40 Year Old Virgin and Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Wear Rabbit. Both fantastically funny films. And I still have $3.50 left on the card.

Other

We finally bought some chairs on Sunday. We went to Room and Board in San Francisco to test them out. We had picked out a couple favorites from the catalogue, but you can't really make up your mind about these things until you see them in person. Room and Board has a very young and modern look, overall. It's in this big three story building with little showrooms all over the place. The quality is good. The prices are reasonable. Really, it is the place you go to when your Ikea furniture that you bought after college falls apart. Coincidentally, that is exactly our situation. Unfortunately, they told us that because we weren't ordering stuff that's in stock, we won't get the chairs until August. Hopefully our Ikea crap will last until then.

*****

And that was my week. Or really, the weekend. But I can't really remember what happened earlier in the week. It was mostly boring, I think. You know, work and stuff. I'll try to keep better track this week for my next summary. Or not. I'm not making any promises.

Physics for Dummies

2006-04-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

DC's Infinite Crisis miniseries/event is really pushing the limits of common sense.

Okay, forget for a second that the heroes are fighting a giant yellow hand that's picking up planets and smashing them together in order to create a perfect world. That's just an average day in super hero comics. What drives me insane is this whole "raw positive matter" attack that they're using. If Alexander Luthor (the owner of the giant yellow hands) is made of antimatter and vulnerable to positive matter, couldn't they defeat him by pelting him with rocks, or staplers, or pretty much anything that isn't antimatter? And furthermore, how is he picking up planets without exploding?

I know that it's just one goofy element amongst many, but I just couldn't get past it. Raw positive matter. Jesus. It would be like if your mortal weakness was the color yellow.

Oh, wait...

Lasers are cool!

2006-03-07T16:56:00.000-08:00

The other night, my friend Will and I played a board game called Deflexion. Basically, you each have a laser and you take turns moving various mirror pieces around the board in an effort to hit your opponent's king. And it's not subtle about the laser component. Right on the side of the box in big red letters it says "The LASER game!" Now that's marketing. Fortunately, it's not just a gimick and the game actually plays pretty well.

C'mon. You know that looks cool. Too bad it doesn't come with a smoke machine.

And while it's not quite a laser, this is almost cool enough to make me want a bicycle.

It's a programable LED spoke that can make whatever image you want appear on your wheels as you ride. It would almost be worth exercising to show off this kind of bling.

Why You Shouldn't Read Comics

2006-03-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

In DC comics, a character was recently brought back to life. That's not the bad part. People die and come back to life all of the time in super-hero comics. It's a staple of the genre. But here's how it happened: Superboy Prime (don't ask) punched the space time continuum. Really hard. And it brought someone back to life. Seriously, that's the explanation. It doesn't make any more sense than it sounds. It's tough to recommend that people read comics when shit like that is happening.

On a more personal note, new wallets suck. I got a new wallet recently because the old one was starting to show some wear, but I really miss it. That old one was vacuformed to my butt. It fit perfectly. This new one is all pointy and stiff. It's been a tough week for my ass.

Snack Madness!

2006-03-06T16:37:00.000-08:00

Last week the vending machine in my office transformed from a benevolent dispenser of snacks into a cruel psychological experiment. The bottom shelf (the thin one that holds gum and Lifesavers and the like) somehow slid out so that it was blocking most of the drop slot area.

The machine frequently refuses to relinquish it's snacky goodness even after money has been deposited. That's when I get called in. Seriously. People ask me to free their snacks because I'm not afraid of this little warning.

That little dude is screwed. Regardless, I don't let it scare me and get a really good back and forth rocking motion going. It's possible that this abuse is what led to the shelf coming lose and causing the aforementioned transformation.

So, with the shelf out, whenever anybody bought a snack, assuming that it actually fell down, it got caught by the shelf. The first person to do this probably does not notice the problem and is upset when the snack lands on the obstruction. Maybe the second person also doesn't notice. But one morning I came in there were 4 bags of chips sitting on the shelf. At some point, people had to realize that they, in all likelihood, weren't going to get the snacks that they were paying for. But when you're in the office after hours, there aren't a lot of places to buy food. So it becomes a study in desperation.

One person told me that they put their money in, knowing full well that it wasn't going to work, but they were so hungry that they had to give it a shot. I wonder if people were just trying to build up a big enough of a pile that one bag was forced to fall out of the machine. Another coworker bought Pop-tarts because the compact packaging gave it a much better chance of slipping through than a bag of Lays. On occasion, I would walk into the kitchen area and just see someone standing at the machine, staring at it. I could tell that they were planning their strategy, somehow trying to rationalize how they weren't just throwing their money away.

So, in the end, even if it was my abuse that caused the shelf to pop out, I don't really feel too bad. The whole thing really was quite fascinating to watch. I just wish I could get my 85 cents back.

I want a Coke!

2006-02-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

Or, more accurately, a Gamera action figure.

It can be yours for the low, low price of $199.99. For that price, I hope that the extremities retract and it spins around as sparks shoot out.

Personally, I'm holding out for the Gamera/Zigra two-pack.

I'm back

2006-02-27T11:39:00.000-08:00

I finally have my life back. The California Bar exam is over. It went as well as could be expected, I suppose.

Anyway, back to the geekiness.

Some day, when Anne and I have our dream home built, I'm going to be calling these guys. I might go with the classic secret bookshelf door that opens when you tug on a book. And you can never go wrong with the rotating fireplace, of course. Or maybe I'll go all out and get a table the rises up from the floor when you tug on a candlestick, like in Spidey and his Amazing Friends! How bad ass is that? Plus, it's always been a dream of mine to have something that either rises up from the floor or descends from the ceiling. Okay, as dreams go, it may not be very inspiring, but what can I say? I'm easily amused.

Case in point:

I know that you're all losing sleep over the question, "What would Bob look like if he were a Jedi knight?" Well, at long last, here's your answer. It's like looking in the mirror, if I had a lightsaber and brown bathrobe.

It's an avatar for an online message board that I frequent that was made for me by another member. xyzzy is a login that I often use. In my experience, it has a much higher likelihood of being available than "Bob" and I'm morally opposed to having any numbers in a name, like bob1975 or something like that. It's just not aesthetically pleasing.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lightsaber and my bathrobe is red. I guess I could be one of those imperial guard guys, but that's just not quite as cool.

Zelda on the X-Box!

2005-12-30T11:26:00.000-08:00

I hate that fucking paperclip so much.

My thermos tried to kill me.

2005-12-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

Well, not my thermos, but Anne's thermos. And to be even more clear, it's not a Thermos™. It's just a thermos.

Anyway, this morning, Anne made some coffee and offered me her old tea thermos (which she doesn't use anymore because she thought it got too gross on the inside, but is apparently good enough for me) to take some with me to work. I'm having staying awake issues, so some coffee sounded great. I pop it into my bag and I'm off on my commute.

So half an hour later or so, I get to my office, take off my coat, turn on my computer. You know, the usual office morning stuff. I pull out the thermos, pop it open and take a drink and it BURNS MY MOUTH! What the hell? That coffee was made over 30 minutes ago. It should be drinkable by now.

Damn thermos. You think you're so great, with your vacuum flask and your silvered interior reflecting radiant heat. Ooooh, I can keep hot things hot and cold things cold, aren't I special. Well, let me tell you something, thermos. If I wanted to burn my mouth, I could have done it at home trying to drink too-hot coffee as I rushed out the door. I didn't need your help for that.

On the other hand, I suppose you were just doing you job. I guess I'll forgive you. Let's kiss and make up.

Dammit! Still too hot!

Jesus Christ Super-Hero

2005-12-27T14:19:00.000-08:00

Be forewarned that there is a moderately serious discussion about Jesus as well as some comic book talk contained herein. If either of these things make you uncomfortable, turn back now, lest you be forever scarred by it's contents.

This past weekend, Anne and I went up to her hometown to spend Christmas Eve with her family. Among the activities we went to Church for the Christmas Eve service. Overall, very nice, but the sermon went on far too long. My general feeling about sermons, or any public speaking, really, is that you should leave your audience wanting more, not wanting the Church to catch on fire so that they can escape. That's just a rule of thumb, not written in stone or anything, but I think that it's sound advice.

One of the main problems I saw, was that he was focusing on the part of Jesus' story that I find the least interesting. That is, all of the stuff about how special and perfect Jesus was. Now, don't get me wrong, Jesus is special, absolutely. I just think that other parts of his story are more interesting.

Let's put it in terms of superheroes. I know it sounds geeky, but I think it works. He fights evil, he's got special abilities, he's got a distinctive look. That's the whole package right there. The lack of combat skills and general pacifistic attitude require that he be in a support role on a team like the Avengers or the JLA, but all in all, I think he'd be a valuable member.

So, back to the topic at hand, talking about him as a perfect person, is like making him Superman. I know that, at first blush, it seems like a good comparison. They've both got all those powers. Jesus can walk on water, turn water into wine and absolve all sin, and Superman can fly, turn coal into diamond and melt things with his eyes. Not identical, but similar, nonetheless. Also, Jesus comes from heaven and Superman comes from outer-space. And on top of all that, they're both goodie two shoes.

But when you look closer, I think that Batman is more like Jesus that Superman ever could hope for. I know what you're thinking. In what way is Jesus like a revenge obsessed guy who creeps around in the dark? Well, let me tell you. One of the defining characteristics of Bruce Wayne/Batman has always been that he has no powers. He's just a (relatively) normal guy who, through determination and will, turned himself into a crime fighter on par with an alien who can bounce bullets off of his chest.

And to me, that's the defining characteristic of Jesus, too. Not the crime fighting part, but the human part. And not human like Zeus when he wanted to bang some chick. Human with all of the good and bad that comes with that. A Jesus Christ who got pissed off because someone made fun of his haircut and decided to forgive and love him anyway is way more interesting than a Jesus who never gets pissed off at all.

Yes, okay, he could do the whole water to wine thing and the other tricks, but the thing that really made him different wasn't the powers, but the ideas. I mean, my understanding is that it was pretty fucking revolutionary to think about things the way he did. "Heaven is for everybody? WTF, Jesus? We thought you were going to smite someone."

It is far more interesting to me to think about a Jesus that is as fundamentally flawed as every other human being on the planet, but overcame those flaws, than one that was born perfect. If he's a perfect being, as alien to mankind as Superman was, then there's a barrier between what he can achieve and what we can. But if Jesus is a flawed human, like Batman, that means that everybody can aspire to being like him.

And that is why, to me, Jesus will always be Batman. And also why Batman kicks Superman's ass.

Leader of the Pack

2005-12-06T11:34:00.000-08:00

Now, this is what a Dark Lord of Sith rides. Not that pussy hover-bike that Darth Maul floated around on.

If Vader had ridden one of these in A New Hope, I have no doubt that things would have turned out very differently. No way does the Milleneum Falcon get the drop on the Imperial Chopper.

Demo review is up

2005-11-04T15:04:00.000-08:00

Read my review of Demo: The Collection here.

All kinds of creepy

2005-10-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

So, last week I was doing some research and I was taking notes on a case I was reading. I'm just jotting stuff down, when I flip the page and I see this:

What the fuck is that? I asked my boss if he drew it (I got the pad from his office) but he denied it. For reasons that I think are obvious, I found it to be some seriously creepy shit. I'm really not even sure what to think of it.

Maybe I'll send it to Found.

Too geeky?

2005-09-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Now, I love transformers. Love 'em. I've got a collection of the new Alternators line, based on licensed real-life cars. Further, I love Star Wars. I've got Star Wars legos all over and I'm lusting after the Lego Death Star. But I must say that this might even be too much for me. Transformers Star Wars ships? I want to get behind it. I really do. But I'm having problems wrapping my head around it. Okay, a wheel bike thingy that turns into General Grevious, that sounds okay. I mean, he's a robot-like thing anyway. But an X-wing that turns into a giant robotic Luke Skywalker? That's something else.

Well, maybe it's kind of cool. Just for the big "what the fuck?" factor. I mean, I'd definitely check out a Millenium Falcon that turned into a giant robotic Billy Dee Williams. Hmmm. Maybe I judged too hastily. I think I might have to clear some space on the toy shelf.

Contagion!

2005-09-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

Anne got me sick. I just blew my nose and I think my brain came out.

That is all.

Math ain't nothin' but trouble.

2005-09-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

So, once again, I was wearing my math shirt this weekend and I get an inordinate amount of attention from a gay man. Except this time, I had completely forgotten about the shirt and just couldn't figure out why this guy was smiling at me so much. It wasn't until I was telling Anne about it that she pointed out I was wearing my math shirt at the time. It's definitely of flattering, but why does this only happen with the gay folk? I mean, I wear non-GLBT affiliated clothing all of the time and girls consistently fail to throw themselves at me. I just don't get it.

Geeks reach out

2005-09-02T16:31:00.000-07:00

Those of you who are both ubergeeks like myself and also want to help with the horrible aftermath of Hurricane Katrina might want to check out this auction. Organized by Brian Michael Bendis' (comic writer) message board and endorsed by him, it's an online auction where all of the monies received will be donated to the Red Cross relief effort. Comic book creators like Bendis, Robert Kirkman, Michael Oeming, David Mack and others have contributed or plan to contribute items such as orignal art and signed scripts, etc. The items are still coming in, but there's some cool stuff there already. So check it out. Pick up some geek memorabilia for yourself and give to a worthy cause at the same time.

The Bendis Board Charity Auction

I've got my eye on the Powers Zippo lighter, so hands off!

I am the geekiest geek who ever geeked.

2005-08-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

In my spare time, I loiter around on a comic book message board. A couple days ago, someone posted a link to this Nerd Test. I took it because, you know, I'm a huge nerd. According to the test, about 64.28571428571429% nerd, in fact. Now, by itself, without context, this doesn't mean anything. But here's the context: On a comic book message board, I scored higher than anyone else. On a comic book message board! That's not good. I mean, sure I would expect to get the highest score in the office. Maybe I would get the highest score amongst friends. But on a comic book message board? That's like being picked out as the wussiest guy on the badminton team. If you can't be relatively cool there, you're pretty much screwed.

X-Games

2005-08-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today at work, I sent some CD-ROMs to a company called TrialGraphix. Now I have to ask, if you're going to spell graphics with an x, why not swap out the ph for an f? Or even better, two f's. I mean, if you're going to take that road, why not follow it to its logical conclusion? TrylGraffix! TO THE EXTREME!

Fatty Fatty Fat Fat!

2005-07-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, a couple different people have asked me if I've lost weight. I used to think this was flattering, but now I realize that they're really just calling me fat. Because, first of all, I'm pretty sure that I haven't lost any weight. Second, that's really only a question you ask fat people. You don't walk up to the emaciated skin and bones person and ask them if they've lost weight. Now, I'm not saying that it's intended as an insult. Quite the opposite, I think that these people are trying to compliment me. But it reveals that even though my clothes might mask it better that day or something, they really think of me as tubby. And these aren't skinny people who are saying this, either. No, it's other rotund folks.

I'm okay with it though. No insult intended, none taken. Although, now that I think about it I do partake of some pretty arduous ass-sitting all day at the office. And then I do several more reps ass-sitting in class. Unless, of course, it's not a school day. Then I do some full-on sprawling and lounging on the couch. Yeah, maybe they're right. I think I have lost weight.

Be a man and read your children's book!

2005-07-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

As I was riding BART into work today, I noticed that this one guy was reading the new Harry Potter book. This, in of itself, is fine. but he's swapped out the Harry Potter dust jacket for the one from David Weber's War of Honor. Now, there are two very sad things about this. First, that this guy is apparently ashamed that he's reading a Harry Potter book. Now, I don't know the numbers, but I'm sure that there are a lot of other adults reading this book. I've seen several, myself and I'm also included in that number. And even if that wasn't the case, who cares? The second sad thing is that this guy apparently thinks that War of Honor has more BART cachet or something.

Now, if anything, reading this book is far geekier than reading any Harry Potter book, which are pretty mainstream. I mean, I like the Honor Harrington series as much as the next geek, but spaceships aren't any better than wizards if you're afraid of looking geeky or immature. So, I have no idea what this guy thought he was accomplishing. It would be like hiding your copy of Maxim magazine behind a copy of Hustler.

Anyway, it made me sad. So, Harry Potter readers out there, just read your book. Nobody cares. Nobody is looking at you and making judgments. Except for me.

Math is Sexy.

2005-07-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

The weekend before last, I went going to the Hayward/Russel City Blues Festival for a barbeque and wine tasting. Or pairing or ranking or something. I dunno. Regardless, I was walking around the stands that they had up. There were the standards like local newspapers and various foods on sticks. There were a couple music stores that had brought inventory to sell and some with blues oriented art.

As I was headed back to meet up with Anne, I walked past the ACLU tent. I was mildly curious to see what they had in there so I poked my head in. It was pretty much what I expected. A couple ex-hippies and some idealistic looking young folks with a table full of pamphlets. I smile and nod in a way that I hope indicates that I support their cause, but absolutely have no interest in looking at any of the reading material that they have. I get some smiles/nods in response and this one guy kind of lounging in a folding chair says, "I like your shirt." This is kind of an odd comment because I am not, typically, the kind of person who gets complimented on his clothing and I'm just wearing a t-shirt with a short sleeve button down over it. But then I realize what's going on.

Let's hop in the way-back machine to two or three years ago, when my friend Will and I were playing a board game and I noticed that he was wearing this cap. My question to him: "What's with the math cap?" His response: "What are you talking about?" Long story short, the equals sign is the logo of the Human Rights Campaign, a lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender rights organization. Will, who's at least one of those, supports them and so wears their math-oriented accessories. Anyway, later that year, Will got me my very own math shirt for Christmas. It looks like this (small logo on front, big logo on back).

Fast forward to the weekend before last where I am wearing the HRC math shirt and am being picked up on by some skinny gay ACLU hippy guy because it was windy and my top shirt was no longer covering the equals sign on the tee. Now, I wasn't upset or anything, but I just didn't want to have a conversation with the guy based on the false premise that I was gay. On the other hand, I didn't want to say "I'm not gay!" because that can only lead to awkwardness. So I just thanked him for the compliment and went to go check out the fried okra.

If I were an astronaut...

2005-07-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

Click for larger image

4 > 216

2005-07-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

Today, July 14, 2005 is the 4 year anniversary of my marriage to my wonderful wife, Anne. It is also the 216th anniversary of the storming of the Bastille and the beginning of the French Revolution. So today, I bring you five reasons that Anne and I are better than France.

1. We've never lost a bid to host the Olympics.
2. We don't smoke.
3. We're not indiscriminately rude. Only to stupid people.
4. We've never been a Nazi puppet state.
5. No berets.

So, with this in mind, I ask you to cross Bastille Day off of your calendars and give July 14 the much more historically significant and, I must say, more fun title of "Bob and Anne's Anniversary."

Vote for your favorite crappy movie!

2005-07-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

Rhino, the publishers of the Mystery Science Theater: 3000 DVDs have a poll for people to vote on which episodes they should bring out next.

Geeks, let your voices be heard! Click here and vote for The Day the Earth Froze (I must have the Sampo!), Soultaker, and of course anything with Gamera in it.

I can't dress myself

2005-07-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I am incapable of picking out my own clothes. For the last three days, as I've been getting dressed Anne says to me, "Are you wearing that?" Now, of course I'm wearing that. It's plain to see that I've put it on. Very rarely do I put on a button down shirt just to wear around the house in the morning before changing into my real outfit. So it doesn't take a super genious (though I do have some of those qualities) to figure out that what she's really saying is "You look horrible and I'm embarassed that I married you."

Lets do a rundown of why my outfits were unacceptable:

1. Too blue (blue shirt with jeans)
2. Too ratty (grey long sleeve button-down)
3. Too blue (different blue shirt with jeans)
4. Too warm (long sleeve shirt, apparently to warm for today's weather conditions)

It's really a sad state of affairs. What's even more sad is that Anne bought most of these clothes for me and I still can't put them together in the right way. In my defense, I did try to buy my own clothes, but every time I did, Anne would want throw them out because they apparently were offensive to the eye.

But even the new system isn't perfect. I got Anne to buy me a Hawaiian shirt and when I put it on she laughed at me for like 15 minutes. That's kind of hard on the ego. I mean, I'm glad that she looks out for me. I can feel relatively confident in my appearance because I know that Anne has vetted my outfit. I just think it's going to hurt my street cred when I show up at the office with my mittens pinned to my blazer.

Screw you, Oakland!

2005-07-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

In light of the terrorist attacks in London today, there were some BART delays on my morning commute to work. I've got no problem with that. Okay, it's probably a waste of time and energy, but it's not totally unfounded and it'll make people feel safer. Fine.

So what happened was they stopped each train at the West Oakland station to check it out for, I don't know, swarthy types or something. There was an announcement that there were delays because they wanted to check each train before it headed into the trans-bay tunnel. So what the fuck about all the stops and people on the train before them? "Oh, it's just Oakland and Hayward. Who cares if they explode?"

Okay, I realize that the tunnel is probably one of the biggest targets on BART and that resources are limited so they can't secure every station, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it. Fuck you, too, BART. You of the inflated salaries and strike threats. You of the fare hikes and train delays every time it rains. Fuck you. Although, I guess I didn't explode, so kudos for that.

A sad farewell

2005-06-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

My brother is moving out of a 3 bedroom house with a huge bonus room and a large yard into a roomshare situation where he just has one bedroom and bathroom. The result for him is that he had to leave a lot behind. The result for me is that I had to go and clean out all of the shit that I had stored in his garage, lo these many years.

I’m not really going to miss all of the old college textbooks or the games missing half of their components, but I’m really going to miss the novels. I had a collection of what seemed like every pulpy science fiction novel written before 1995. There were just a massive number of books. And all of them good. Well, maybe not all of them. Some were downright bad. But that’s beside the point. They were mine! MINE!

Sure, they hadn’t been read for years, since I put them into storage, but the knowledge that they were there, should I ever want to go read them, was reassuring. Now, they’re going to be gone forever, probably into the grubby little hands of some pimply adolescent nerd who’ll never love them like I did. Damn kids. They ruin everything.

I can’t even tell you how traumatic this was. I went through and winnowed the collection down to just one box of the really, really good stuff. But just looking at that wall of books that would soon be gone forever… it was a tough moment for me. Now my dreams of having a comprehensive sci-fi library someday are dashed forever. And even more tragically, I own less stuff now.

Man... I love stuff.

*sniff*

Accidental Tatoo

2005-06-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

Just a word of advice when using a clicky pen. When the pen tip is already out, you do not need to push down on the clicker. You certainly don't need to hold the pen backwards and jam your thumb down on the pen tip. Doing so will not only hurt a great deal, but will deposit some ink deep subcutaneously, giving you a little tatoo-esque spot on your thumb. I dont' recommend it.

No, they don't go great together.

2005-06-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Chocolate-chip bagels. What the hell is up with these things? All I want is a cinnamon-raisin and I keep pulling out these stupid chocolate things. And if it's not chocolate, it's blueberry. Jesus Christ. What's the point of free bagels if all you get are these horrible concoctions?

Don't get me wrong, I like chocolate. That doesn't mean that I want it in everything I eat. I mean, I like Jolly Ranchers but that doesn't mean that I put them in my sandwiches.

HasbrOWNED!

2005-06-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

So we had some guests over for dinner (Vietnamese takeout) and games (Transamerica) and it was very nice. Meeting a couple neighbors and their friend is always nice.

It was somewhat unfortunate that one of our guests harbored a secret hatred of all things board game related. Apaprently, her father had worked for Hasbro/Parker Brothers and she and her siblings had been forced to test prototypes and new editions of games and such. Understandably, this has left her a bit soured on the idea of playing such a game for fun. Nevertheless, she played and claimed to enjoy Transamerica.

When she was telling us about her board game history, however, she told us that she and her siblings had to write Trivial Pursuit questions as well. Anne's response to this was something to the effect of, "Well, that figures!" And not in a jokey way, either. She was essentially saying, "Well, no wonder that horrible game has such shitty questions. It makes sense that a bunch of kids wrote that crap." Which is a sentiment that I kind of agree with, but maybe not enough to say it to a person the first time I met them. It was fine, though, because everyone laughed and they probably didn't think anything of it. I doubt anyone besides Anne and myself even remember that particular part of the evening. Well, Anne, myself and anyone who happens to read this, anyway. Anne's embarssing moment immortalized forever in blog form.

Superman/Batman TPB Review

2005-06-11T05:05:00.000-07:00

Just finished my review of Superman/Batman: Public Enemies. It's up at IGN Comics.

Check it out.

Too much time.

2005-06-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought that Star Wars couldn't get any cooler.

Clearly someone has too much time on their hands. It might be me.

The whole thing is ridiculous anyway. Everyone knows that only a unicorn can properly wield a lightsaber.

I've got it! Wait... No, I don't.

2005-06-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

The company softball team went down in defeat again last night. I did not have the fortune of playing with them this time, as I had to go to class, but I understand that they did much better than the time I played, a couple weeks ago.

In the game I played in, the score was 1 to 3o+. Both teams stopped counting after they passed 20 or so. And that was in just 3 innings. That's 3 minutes at bat and then 35 minutes of fielding, just praying that they would hit the ball directly into somebody's glove.

I hear that they've improved. In the last game, we scored 4 runs and the other team only got 21. The umpire told our guys that we need to practice more. It's tough when even the impartial official tells you that you suck.

It was the final game of the season and our records stands at 1-8. And before you get too excited, the win is the result of the other team forfeiting because they only had 7 players. Little did they know that they could have easily won anyway.

In addition to the losing, which is mildly embarassing, we've also had several injuries. One guy tore his quad and will probably need surgery. Two other guys are on crutches, too. One from a severe sprain and the other from some sort of minor break. Hell, I was sore from standing around in a field for 2 hours. It's sad, really.

On an unrelated note, check out this site. Basically, an artist takes children's drawings and then fleshes them out. It's really quite cool.

Comics, comics, comics.

2005-06-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

My reviews at comics.ign.com

True Story, Swear to God: Chances Are

Channel Zero and Channel Zero: Jennie One

Proof of Concept

Bad Mojo

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

Demo: The Collection

Also, my panel discussions are here.

Starting Over

2005-06-05T12:16:00.000-07:00

Here we go.